Immortal Pain
by JenniferWilson78
Summary: You just need to read...Title says it all and its ANGSTY


**Immortal Pain**

Author: Jennifer

Rating Nc-17

Spoiler Alternate Reality, Still vamps and Slayers set in the future.

Disclaimer ya right don't own!

Authors notes: Just a simple fic! Thank you to Jade and Cindy for looking over this for me

Immortal Pain

She sniffed into the cold air, she hated December with a passion, of course she hated January, and well pretty much every month besides April, there was something about flowers blooming she thought as she stuck a hand into her jacket and raised her other hand.

"Taxi!" She yelled trying to get its attention. She never used her car in the city anymore, its not that she couldn't drive its more of the fact that she had gotten use to other people driving.

Her smiled waned as she slid into the old must leather seat of the cab.

Angel had always hired a driver for her, her tiny smile turned into a grimace.

Wasn't life just freaking perfect?

"Where to Miss," The cabby asked.

Buffy made her eyes twinkle like she did when things she couldn't control the things that brought her down.

"Home please, 676 Braver Street," She said hoarsely.

The cabbie whistled, "Nice digs," He whispered softly but she heard him.

Her house was beautiful, a four story house, no more like a mansion, but really it was a simple town house, she had all that room but she was alone. Always alone. She had tried in vain to tell Angel she didn't need it, but he had laughed and whispered into her ear, "He loved her."

She had never seen a laugh like that come from him, she closed her eyes at the memory that he had cupped her cheek and laughed, his eyes lighting up. "Baby you deserve everything," he whispered before picking her up and running up the stairs to her new bedroom.

"Are you ok?" The cab driver asked.

She reached her head up to her cheek and wiped the small salty tears that were falling down her face. She nodded and took a deep breath. She was almost home.

She could hear the cabbie muttering to himself, she didn't care, she just didn't care, and maybe she should have. Maybe she should have let the little warmth come to her from the cabbie, but honestly what was the point. She would never see this guy again.

"That will be $27.50," he said.

She simply opened the door and stepped out, after a few minutes of digging she found a fifty dollar bill and handed it to him and turned and walked away without another word.

"Hey thanks!" He yelled.

She didn't grunt she didn't do anything but place her key into the slot and turned. She dropped her bag on the floor, well more like let it drop, and she heard a few things fall out but she didn't care, she just didn't care.

She walked into her living room, HA she thought, a living room, people have to be alive, and there is no one here but her. She threw her keys across the floor and with a satisfied thunk she decided her purse needed to fly in the opposite direction. Without even looking she walked straight into her bedroom, not like she sleeps in it, but she had to admit the room was beautiful.

She snorted and rolled her eyes, one would think she still had her old self's sarcastic humor that instead of being dry ran very close to being tortured.

Everything in her house was to match his personality and her slightly childish fantasies that would never come true. She had one room that had a huge giant mural. It had this huge castle painted slightly bluish with the whitest clouds she had ever seen and a big bright yellow sun with a small happy face in the middle, but her favorite was the Knight, she had a black Knight and one in Shinning white armor, the White Knight was sweeping up the beautiful blonde Princess.

It would be such a beautiful baby's room!

And that was what Angel had said after he finished painting it. It hadn't taken him long to make her wall look like a masterpiece, he was doing it for himself and she was sure of it and the comment about it being a babies room proved it.

She walked to her bedroom and sat down on her bed, she let her fingers slowly unbutton her silk shirt, she loved silk, and it was so sensual on her body made her want to rub herself on it; instead she let it slowly fall from her shoulders and she fell backwards onto the shirt while she unzipped her skirt. That left her with ice red panties and matching bra which gave her a natural size C cup.

She sniffed but not because she was depressed but because she was cold, she's always cold these days and nothing could make her warm. Nothing.

She sat up half way just enough to snap her bra off in the back and she winced as the cool air hit the bruises. She didn't need a mirror to see that she was covered in them.

He needed it, she knew it, it was the only way to have sex, or as she called it fucking like dogs. He always apologized after seeing the pain he had inflicted on her. But he knew better, she enjoyed it, she enjoyed it, she moaned thinking about the things they have done but that was unspoken, Buffy and Angel having rough sex, just unheard of!

She sighed as she took off the bra completely, he needed her and was it was simply to screw, maybe his brain thought differently but her heart didn't. She was only needed to satisfy him when he would never do that with Sam.

Buffy snorted, how did most of the men in her life end up with a woman named Sam?

Sam was beautiful and she could remember the first time Angel had seen Sam, his whole body had changed, the look in his eyes would always haunt her, and he loved this other woman on sight. He use to look at her that way, but now..

She felt a small satisfaction when Angel had come to her saying he needed her, saying he loved her, she simply closed her eyes and let him take her where no other man could. Why should she be sorry for herself, she still had his body. At night. She was pretty sure Sam didn't even know.

She snorted what a joke. The tale of lies that Angel had weaved around Sam were almost unbelievable but she made the mistake just like I had, she looked into his eyes thinking he could never lie to her, he wouldn't but he had and he would continue probably until she could give him babies.

Buffy sniffed, babies...

She slid her skirt and panties off and kicked them off with her legs and feet, she turned and crawled up to the top of the bed and threw back the covers and slid into the silk sheets.

One thing Angel had been right about was the sheets, the feeling that silk gave her was completely sensual.

She thought the tears would come but the last couple of nights she just didn't have the energy to torture herself with the knowledge that her life literality sucks.

He wasn't with her and he would never be.

How did he become human she would never know, he never told her, no one did actually. Of course at the time she was on a killing spree, she murdered them all, no she tortured them. She went for Cordelia first, she just simply pulled the plug and smiled, she didn't have to bite her, not that she would want too she was sure Cordy was sour and a nasty demon, she killed her sister and Willow while Xander and Giles watched.

She shuddered thinking the way she had placed the stakes through Xander's body, making sure he stayed alive to watch and listen, she had laughed while Dawn begged, Willow had just stared at her while visions of Tara had flittered through the young witches mind. After that it wasn't hard to subdue Willow, simply told her it was all her fault for killing Tara! They should have known that she had knowledge of witchcraft; she had been around it just as long as Willow had and had even done several spells. In the corner of Buffy's mind she shouted, they got what they deserved.

Buffy felt the single tear roll down her cheek as she thought of all the blood that had splattered.

This was all because she had given up one simple night and whispered forever into Spike's ear and what happened, he took it literally.

Angel had somehow figured it out, he had begged and pleaded with her as she shot Wesley with the sawed off rifle he loved so much to carry around and snapped Gunn's neck and as she turned Fred into a monster like she was.

She grunted thinking she had hurt Angel more by turning Fred, his precious Fred, the one person who adored him completely who could never see his flaws the one person he saved he truly saved, Fred, and now, well now she was dust in the wind, the pain on Angel's face as he stuck that stake through her heart.

That was all she remembered seeing the startled look on Fred's face as she died.

Buffy had never felt the blow to the back of her head, the next thing she knew she was in a cage strapped down feeling bad for herself, crying, Angel had used the magic at that damn law office to place her soul back.

Angel mentioned that it was for the good of the World, that the World needed her, fucking poppycock! Even Spike had agreed with Angel but then again he had been chained up and badly beaten, the more she thought about it she wasn't even sure that Spike had actually said a thing, kinda hard to do that with his face swollen.

Angel had whispered soothing words to her as he opened the door to the cage, she had let him come and comfort her, she had no idea why he saved her, maybe it was for love, or maybe it was just out of obligation.

Like truly sucks ya know! She turned her head and sobbed into her pillow like she did every night.

Angel had started seeing her, trying to get her moving into action, at first Buffy ignored him like he had a disease. But then somehow along the way they had turned into fucking buddies, he couldn't lose his soul with her, because it wasn't perfect, she wasn't perfect anymore and that probably hurt the worst, she was no longer perfect in his eyes, she became his screwing toy; they needed each other though, there would always be that spark, that tingle, but then again it could be ignored.

He's married, and he's screwing both of them. Somehow along the way when Buffy had gotten her soul back and the PTB wanted a champion that could walk through the day, she could no longer do that. Angel receives his humanity and Buffy; she was just his fuck toy.

Sure it hurt and she was sure that she could do it much longer.

They were soul mates, right?

Didn't mean that he wanted to be around her very long, she reminded him of his past. A past she herself wanted so very hard to forget. She couldn't kill herself because she had a soul and she knew that people would need her, she needed redemption for her friends. The ones she would never see again.

She dreamed about them nightly, most of the time they called her a killer, a bitch, whore but there was always this one, where Dawn would come to her and whisper everything was going to be ok, without the look of betrayal in her eyes.

She sighed and closed her eyes praying that everything would be ok, knowing all too well she would fight, she would love the only man she ever loved, and she would watch him forget her, to live that perfect life she would never have. Never have children, never see the sunlight again, never have that castle in the sky but Angel would! So for now she would let him pay for things, she knew damn well he did this to justify himself, but right now she didn't care

She offended let the idea roam in her head that maybe there was another prophecy about a Souled Vampire, but then again she knew better, this was her life and it sucked.

She would for eternity suffer with her immortal pain.

End ~ and no probably not a sequel in the works.


End file.
